Yeah, I neglected my blog hardcore over the last months. But there is a lot of stuff going on in real life. It’s almost funny to read this post from November, because we got back together shortly after. It’s been a messy and toxic ride until December with a push and pull dynamic. It looked like we couldn’t be with each other, but also not without each other. We progressed to a much better level in January. But this February was the best. The peace is almost eerie, but we definitely improved our communication and trust and found better ways to solve problems and understanding each other. While it’s fine at the moment, it also feels a little like the calm before the storm. Ask my family and friends, they’re all unhappy with my decision to stick with her. Well, where love falls, huh?
Apart from that, there are also other things going on. I still spend much time with my foster sister and I enjoy these times a lot. Seeing her growing up is just wonderful.
I neglected photography a lot too, but I meet friends and family and still play a lot of guitar. Since it’s winter, I also played PC games with my friends, but not as much as they do. Neither will I give up photography or blogging but I think there are times when you need a break or when there is a shift for a while. Days only have so many hours.
I hope you all are fine!
Diary of Dennis 
As long as you are happy Dennis that is the important thing. It’s good to have a life outside of the computer. But don’t be a stranger, I look forward to your posts.
I wouldn’t say happy. I am not certain where things are heading to in real life (laugh). For now, things are ok.
I am unhappy with just monthly posts. I don’t want to neglect the blog that way. I’d like to try weekly posts again at some point. It’s strange that when you regular blogger, it’s so easy, but once you slowed down, it’s hard to get back into it.
But I will, it’s been one of my favorite activities. And I also miss to communicate with friends like you. I hope you’re doing fine Vanda!
I’m doing OK too Dennis. I’ve managed to avoid Covid so far and that’s a plus. I went through some time when it was difficult to write posts myself but I’m trying to get back into it now. I try to post if not daily then at least 3-4 times a week mostly doing challenges, writing or photography. Of course my real love is to write about places I go and things I see, and a bit of opinion of course but for a long time I went nowhere and did nothing so that was hard.
This is good to hear Vanda.
I know already quite a few people who had Covid. My gf had it too in November/December. I didn’t have it but I have the flu every two months now since I wear the mask. Currently me and my gf have the flu again. Seems like our immune system is not trained anymore against other viruses and bacteria. It’s annoying. Never been that often ill in my life.
I still checked emails and saw some of your places photos and other posts, except that I wasn’t logged in to WP. I am not in the mood for photography now and it’s constantly raining this winter. But maybe I will do it in spring, maybe taking a walk with the camera again or visit places again too. I will see.
I had a rocky relationship with my ex for over ten years. Then things improved significantly and we got married. Two years later we were separated and then divorced.
I did read your comment and it looked so optimistic, until I reached the final line 😀 That was also a rocky comment 🙂
Honestly, I am very realistic now with what I am doing. Turned into an ice block for now and just take things as they develop but have my boundaries intact in case things go southhill again. I told her so.
(Although, I am not sure if we take each other seriously anymore with such threats, after so many reconciliation, laugh).
Looking at the whole timespan since last summer, it’s been toxic, very toxic. I am very careful even if we experienced two very good months now. It needs a lot more to make me feel entirely happy with the relationship.
Truth is, I definitely feel attached to her, and she to me. We even openly spoke about this many times. There are definitely many things I like about her, but truth is, I learned that I am probably also co-dependent with her issues, which can be confused with love too.
And we both have different kind of attachment styles, that have a magnet kind of effect (push/pull dynamic with turning tables lol). So, I am realist and see it as it is… we’re attracted somehow for different reasons, but it’s not going to be easy. Fortunately, we’re now more open to understand each other.
We’re in this dynamic since summer, probably littler over a half year. When you talk about ten years, you probably know the ambivalent feelings in such a rocky relationship for sure, and how you battle with your self, thinking back and forth.
I can only say I understand what you are going through but have no good advice except to say that you can’t change other people but you can change yourself. Perhaps if I was more understanding of my wife’s psychological issues I might not have become as upset with her behavior and that might have caused less arguments which might have led to more happy times. On the other hand, sometimes people are just not compatible with each other.
That’s a good point and where I am at right now. She is going to a therapist now. That was her decision. I know her issues and I have done my own research, while listening to her and understanding her perspective. Eventually, I told her that I don’t take things personaly anymore as I understand the problems and that I accept her but that I feel communication is important and that I will also communicate my boundaries.
Since then (and because of a few other things) she feels understood and many problems disappeared for now and communication is much more open. Also because with the knowledge, I do evaluate certain situations differently and don’t think immedietly that something is fishy, which is also part of my own attachment style… or commitment issues. So, I learned a lot about myself again too. And we communicate about these issues.
But like you said “sometimes people are just not compatible with each other.”… I am not giving up yet, especially since things getting better for now. But I am also ready to use the parachute, if I start to suffer again like in November. It wasn’t a healthy time last year.
It seems like you might be on the right path. I very much hope that the good times continue and even get better.