Absurdities With my Borderline Wife: Signatures

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my wife wanted to apply for child benefits and parental allowance. Thus, she needed signatures from me but didn’t give me all pages. Not that I want to annoy her, but I’ve never signed applications or contracts that I haven’t fully read, with half or more of the pages missing. In a calm manner, I asked my wife to give all pages, fully filled out and told her that I would sign it then. As I mentioned in a previous post, her reply was: “Then I will break every possible way of contact with you Dennis and from now on everything with lawyers”. She blocked me and I wondered what she would tell her lawyer. I just knew she would come back to me as her lawyer would most likely understand me.

And here we are. Yesterday she unblocked me to tell me “You have all pages in the mailbox, please give your signature and bring it back this evening”. Her most recent behavior made her move to the bottom of my life priority list, thus I just replied 9 hours later. I will help her for sure, it’s just that I don’t want to be available right away if she needs something again.

But in the evening I replied “I am glad you gave me all pages this time, but you haven’t filled out anything. As I told you, I don’t just need all pages, I need it filled out. I bring it back to you tomorrow, and you fill it out and give it back to me, so that I can help you and sign it”. Those who have read my recent posts will most likely know what happened next. She blocked me again. It’s so ridiculous, because she could already have my signatures if she wouldn’t be so unstable.

But I don’t care anymore. I am not her therapist. It’s almost like I feel a habituation effect now. I just can’t control her affect dysregulation, and there is no win-win situation. No matter what I do, she will always get dysregulated and cause more drama or block me. So, I just stop attempting to satisfy the dissatisfied. Which doesn’t mean that I won’t take my custody seriously (signatures for the applications are part of it), but I will now start to concentrate on my own life, which means, she will have to be patient and she will have to listen and work with me if she needs help.

Meanwhile, I had a twenty minutes phone call with my lawyer. I didn’t reach him for a week because he had a family emergency. I am glad I got him on the phone now. I gonna let him from the leash now. We meet next Friday again to discuss visitation arrangements. He already prepares everything and will quickly contact everyone, my wife, the youth welfare service and so on, so that I can see my daughter regularly very soon. I’m not playing games anymore.


3 thoughts on “Absurdities With my Borderline Wife: Signatures

    1. Thanks John, I will. I just realized, you can’t please a toxic person. If I attempt it or not, she will always be displeased. It’s not under my control. Thus, I can just stop trying.

      I can’t go completely silent on her. I will keep line of communication open for my daughter and shared custody matters… but I gonna grey rock my wife.

      I don’t have to jump for her, I can take my time. And then I keep things short. I gonna explain her how things work and I won’t repeat myself anymore. Things are changing now.

      I fight for my daughter.

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