I do recently have trouble making a certain decision and talked with a friend about it when he replied: “Listen to what your heart says, that’s how you will find out if it’s right or not”. I didn’t tell him but I thought to myself: “This is either a platitude or I am heartless”. I know, it’s well-meant and family and friends always want you best, by implication, they want you to make the decision that makes you happy the most. That’s probably how “Listen to your heart” is meant. They simply express that they want your best. And understandably, some questions can only be answered by yourself. Like my mother said: “I understand all the pros and cons you brought up and why you have difficulties to decide, but I feel, if I suggest either direction, you could realize it was wrong and I really want that you make the decision that makes you happy”.
But the question still remains, how do you make a decision if you have absolutely no clue yet which way it’ll be best for yourself? It’s probably difficult to answer without context but this is a life-long riddle for me as it is not the first time I’ve been in this situation. There have been times in my life when I found the answer last-minute but other times I could have come up with a platitude as well, which often has been “Time will tell”, so basically the same as “Time ran out and everything remained as is”.
While I don’t like platitudes, I do at least agree with my friends and family that I am often overthinking stuff. I have a certain degree of perfectionism, which is sometimes very helpful and other times super obstructive, especially in cases where a decision has to be made. I don’t think that I will lose this quirk in this life. On the other side, some decisions are really difficult enough, that the good old method of weighting the pros and cons won’t help either. Especially if the weight on both sides of the scale is equal.
If you’re curious about the decision I try to make, I think I am still too confused to write about it. But I might do that in the near future if I feel like putting my thoughts out there and getting feedback could help me. For now, I just needed to vent and mention a certain type of conflict that I find super annoying and stressful. Anyway, maybe you’ve experienced that too in your life. Do you know the conflict of inner strife? Did you develop your own methods of reaching clarification?