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Rest In Peace Uncle

Two weeks ago my uncle came into the hospice and we visited him every day. Today in the morning around 8am he fell asleep and died a peaceful death. Generally, his last weeks have been very peaceful without pain. We told him a lot of nice things, but he couldn’t answer anymore but he did not unlearn how to smile. And we all mastered non-verbal communication. He slept a lot, but when he woke up, it was still possible to reach him. There have been silent moments, or moments where we talked about past days and other beautiful things and it seemed to make him feel comfy. But overall it was lots of sleep for him.

Today in the morning he took his last breath, and while we are of course sad, it’s not that we are in deepest sorrow. This might sound cold, but it was now for two years clear, it was the Glioblastoma diagnosis and we all knew what that would mean. In other words, we have been in deepest sorrow already earlier, but at some point we had to accept what it would mean for his future, otherwise we all would have stopped to function in this time. I am sad, but I am also happy that I got the chance to meet such a beautiful person. What happened today takes also a lot of weight off my mind, because now I know that he doesn’t have to suffer from the symptoms anymore. We will miss him, but we will also have to look forward because there is still a future for us. I know he wouldn’t want us to fall into a depression.

Rest in Peace my uncle and friend. I will never forget all those great moments we enjoyed together. I will never forget. I can’t ask why someone dies, because I don’t even understand how life is possible. However the universe does work, maybe the energy that our soul is does find a new place, but even if that is not the case, together we’ve been part of something in time and space. Rest in Peace my friend and uncle.

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10 Comments »

  1. You did exactly the right things, and truly, you can miss the man but not regret the death. In this case, death was the blessing and you understood that. I felt that way when my mother died, and when my mother in law died years later. You do what you can for them, and let them go. Be well.

    • Exactly. It’s better for him, and there was also quite a lot of pressure on us. We knew the direction, and being there helped, but there are no magic tricks to make the tumor disappear, we all knew that. In two years we tried the best we can to give him a good remaining time. That’s all we could do.

      Thank you. This week I will be slow with the things and take my time to think about it or taking silent moments, but after that I will look forward… I know my uncle would have wanted this.

    • Thank you Marilyn. It’s been a peaceful time, but it was still difficult. Now we feel somewhat relieved that he has peace, but also that we can soon look forward again.

    • Thank you. These moments were very moving for me. Yes, I will never forget the great times we had together. Yesterday I went through some great pictures of him because I plan to print some. It also helped me because they show that he had a fun time before the disease.

    • I wouldn’t have felt offended because I know the like can be pressed in a different context as “I like that you supported him” or similar things. But anyway, I do agree, I am generally careful with the like button too because someone could get it wrong. There are topics where it is difficult to press the like button because it could be taken wrong.

      Thanks for the condolence Charles. Yes it’s sad, but we all think the end is better than suffering. When you can’t drink or eat on your own anymore, or similar things, it’s no life quality anymore. That’s how it was for him the last weeks… As sad as the death is, it’s also good when the suffering is no more. And yes, we expected it, for two years it was clear. :/

      • I am writing a post about my father who died of cancer in 1999. I will publish it on my personal blog on the 15th which is the 19th anniversary of his death. I hope you get a chance to see it.

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